


My human AU

by Amphata



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Blood Brothers, Brother/Brother Incest, Brothers, Childhood Memories, Cookies, Human AU, Livestreaming, M/M, Milk kink, Siblings, Suggestions, baby bottle feeding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-06-20 02:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15523914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amphata/pseuds/Amphata
Summary: This is a human AU! I have kept their original names this time - but technically this should be a new chapter of my other work "How to kills Thais". The only difference is that in the other one I changed their names!I may possibly make up my mind at some point and create a merged work where I act like a sane person and don't switch names every 5 minutes.





	1. The one with the baby bottle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Manysidesofmyself](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manysidesofmyself/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How about you feed your brother milk? Use a baby bottle”
> 
> The request appeared in the livestream chat, amongst many others - but for some reason, it got to them. They found themselves cackling (things like that constantly reminded their audience that they were, indeed, brothers: the coordination, the identical rythm of their bodies - sometimes, the same laugh). They instantly knew they were looking at the same message, one quick glance, and the deal was set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the moment, this is the [link](http://allthingsthorki.tumblr.com/post/176493745005/how-about-you-feed-your-brother-milk-use-a-baby) to the tumblr post if you want to reblog it!

“How about you feed your brother milk? Use a baby bottle”

The request appeared in the livestream chat, amongst many others - but for some reason, it  _got_ to them. They found themselves cackling (things like that constantly reminded their audience that they were, indeed, brothers: the coordination, the identical rythm of their bodies - sometimes, the same laugh). They instantly knew they were looking at the same message, one quick glance, and the deal was set.

“Alright, we’ll do this one then! You guys ready? Let’s warm up some milk!” Thor’s smile went from ear to ear.

“Do you possess the lost art of conjuring objects out of thin air?” his brother hissed, half a smirk on his thin lips.

Thor’s face dropped; he raised one finger to the camera and turned to face Loki: “You know, you could go for some constructive criticism instead of spitting poison, for a change”

“Well?”

”We’ll go ask Moira!”

”We are  _not_ knocking at our next door neighbor to ask her to give us her child’s baby bottle”

”She  _has got_  to have a spare one!”

” _Why_ would she have a spare one!”

”Because…!! Mothers!”

”We are not asking Moira.”

The livestream started again shortly after, showing them both sitting in front of the webcam, sharing the same chair. Thor’s sunny smile was a hilarious contrast to his brother’s dead serious face. A brand new baby bottle, still in its box, sat between them on the desk.

“ ‘Reference for a decal on a nursery toys chest’? Really.”

“Hey, she bought it!”

Thor kissed away whatever his brother was about to reply, then stood and cheerfully announced he was going to set everything up. Loki sprawled on the chair, all the space for himself finally, grabbed his brother’s phone from the desk and started tapping quickly. He read out while typing, half whispering, for his audience: “New text message… to… Moira… < _You… will… have… that… same… toys chest… of course… And… no… need… to pay-_ >”

“Loki?”

“Mmh?”

“Do you want sugar in your milk?”

“Whatever. (< _I’m… just… happy… to make one… for free… since you… were so… nice-_ >)”

“I’m just gonna put salt in it then, see if you like it you little bit-”

“…… < _ **in fact you know what i’ll make you two cause you know kids these days they end up having so many toys that one never knows where to store them okthanksbyeSEND**_ >” Loki typed extra fast, turned the phone’s screen off and put it back just as his brother entered the room again. He faced up and smiled fondly at Thor, spreading his arms wide open: “My brother!!!”

Thor chuckled and fell right into his trap. He moved down and hugged that little shit like his life depended on it: “You want some milk, baby?” 

Loki nodded. They were both clearly repressing an explosive laugh, lips pressed firmly together, but they hugged again, and they kissed, and Thor picked up his brother from the chair, held him close as he sat down, then placed him all comfy on his lap: “Well then! Milk you shall have!”

Little did the people watching know, that this wasn’t new activity to the brothers: many times Thor had fed Loki milk from a baby bottle. Loki happened to be, in fact, a baby at that time, and Thor would often demand to be the one to take care of his brother - it would seem to him that their parents weren’t putting the necessary attention in it. Loki, for his part, used to be  _way_ less whiny when his brother was in charge. A match made in heaven, Frigga would think, silently thanking the gods for that little bit of peace and quiet.

So they sat, assuming the position automatically; their bodies remembered. Thor’s arms wrapped around his brother’s chest like a shawl, big and warm. Loki’s head fell back on Thor’s shoulder, his hands moved to touch his face, his lips, his hair. Incidentally, that was also the base for Thor’s Special NightNight Cuddle - a secret move that could send Loki straight to dream land, to their mother’s unspeakable joy.

Thor started cooing his little brother, without even thinking: soft kisses placed on Loki’s porcelain neck, soothing words purred into his ear. “My baby brother-” Loki’s eyes closed on their own, his lips parted automatically. He accepted the bottle that his brother offered him, no tantrums, like a good boy. 

“There you go…” Thor purred, his lips caressing Loki’s cheek, placing absentminded kisses. His hand was steady, keeping the bottle tilted just enough not to form any air bubbles - remarkable technique, aquired with experience. 

Loki suckled quietly, it felt like time never really passed since they last did this. His long fingers moved to play with Thor’s golden locks; he looked up, his eyes lost in adoration, his breathing steady, their heartbeat perfectly synced. He couldn’t help but moan from the back of his throat, for he felt bliss in his heart, peace in his mind; his suckling noises got louder, and the whole scene brought Thor to moan as well, in between kisses. 

“My angel… My beauty, my darling…” Every sentence was marked by a kiss, on Loki’s face, on his neck, on his hair, his hands, his shoulders. “My love… My reason to live… My joy…”, Thor moaned, he couldn’t get himself to stop touching every part of his brother’s body, feeling his warm skin under his finger tips.

Loki was dozing off, his hands slowly fell on his lap, his eyelids felt heavy, the milk was almost gone. He let his brother handle him like a doll, he felt his strong arms lift him slightly and place him back down sideways, with his legs hanging from the side of the chair and his head resting in the crook of Thor’s arm. His sucklings got lazy, the last drops of milk spilled on his chin, down to his neck. 

“Ah- now, now…” Thor murmured softly, placing the empty bottle on the desk, “let’s not get sloppy, mh?” He traced the marks left by the milk, from the bottom to the top, and when he got to Loki’s lips he pushed his fingers inside. Softly, but firmly.

Loki accepted, sucking eagerly on his brother’s fingers, bathing in Thor’s deep, heartly laugh, lost in the love for him, in his scent, in his warmth.

“Good boy… Look how good you were”. As if just then suddenly remembering they had an audience, Thor moved his eyes to the screen: they were all still there, good. He cradled his baby brother in his arms, yet another autopilot move from his memory. 

He looked down to Loki, to his hands that were now both under his cheek like a pillow. His heart smiled, he felt like he could explode from how much he loved him. He spoke softly to the camera “I think he’s gone…”. He shook his head slowly “Do you understand how much I love my brother? Do you have any idea? Do any of you?”, Thor asked, and then proceeded to ramble about his undying love for Loki, how perfect he was to his eyes, how lovable, how delightful in his every aspect. His voice a whisper, his fingers stroking Loki’s hair softly, his eyelids getting heavy too, Thor suddenly jumped on his chair when his phone buzzed lively from the desk.

He picked it up and read from the screen: “<That’s so nice of you - with three esclamation points - I would never ask you that much but since you insist (what the fuck is this)->

Loki’s body froze on Thor’s lap.

“<-a friend of mine happened to have a baby just recently and i  _know_ she would also love to have a - _fucking TOYS CHEST_?!?!? >”

His arms moved down to strangle Loki in a death grip before he could leave, but alas! The little snake - who was apparently as far from dream land as he could ever be - slimed right off his lap and out of the audience’s screens in .2 seconds.

“ **LOKI** ”, Thor stood, his huge arms flipped the desk with everything on it. The livestream ended abruptly.


	2. The Cookies Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that phase where a toddler is just grabbing anything they see? Little hands that are basically two perfectly working grips?  
> Well, Loki was in that phase.  
> Now, it so appeared Thor and him were left unsupervised for a couple of minutes, and that Thor wanted cookies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quick thing from my human AU! 
> 
>  
> 
> [It's on tumblr!](http://allthingsthorki.tumblr.com/post/176729043095/my-human-au-the-cookies-accident-you-know-that)  
> [Visual representation by me!](http://amphata.tumblr.com/post/174275370412/alright-so-i-have-this-stupid-headcanon-that#notes)

You know that phase where a toddler is just grabbing anything they see? Little hands that are basically two perfectly working grips?

Well, Loki was in that phase.

Now, it so appeared Thor and him were left unsupervised for a couple of minutes, and that Thor wanted cookies.

Cookies were - of course - safely stored in the most inaccessible cupboard to ever exist. Thor had tried many times, but even when standing on a chair he just couldn’t  _get_ it. What he saw that afternoon was an  **opportunity** , and he was determined to take it. His eyes got all sparkly: “Loki. Hey Loki”

Loki was sitting on the floor next to the sofa, all focused on his cubes with letters on them. He had no idea what was written on those but, based on people’s reactions, there appeared to be a right order to put them in and  _by **god**_ he was going to find it. "Loki hey! Do you want cookies?”

Loki’s head turned sharply, brows raised, hope in his heart, but then all he saw was his brother’s eyes full of terrible ideas, and hope died.

“Come on Kiki, come with me! We’re getting cookies!!!” said Thor, happily picking up his brother from the floor. He had to use both arms and bend all the way back, but he managed.

Loki was shocked, absolutely  _shocked_ , by the treatment he was receiving.  _No one_  could abruptly take him from his cubes. He tried to voice his protests, but Thor cheerfully ignored the babbling and carried him all the way to the kitchen. He then carefully placed his brother on the counter: “Stay!”, he warned, pointing one finger at him.

Loki was fuming. Just sitting there, thinking about the injustice, the shame, the  _dishonour_ of being handled like a doll. His mind raced while he silently watched his brother get a chair and work his ass to push it in the direction of the cookies cupboard: “Kiki this is the best idea I’ve ever had, you’ll see, it  **cannot** fail!”

If you can, please picture a toddler making this face:

Thor hopped on the chair, then bent down to pick up Loki from the counter. He was so happy he could die; that sure was the plan of the century. He carefully grabbed Loki from his armpits and slowly raised him up… up… until he was all the way over his head. It was taking him all the strength he had, but all he had to do was think of the cookies and it felt more than worth it.

“Alright Loki, there’s the box of cookies. Do you see it?  ** _Get it_**!!!”.

The muffled sound of their mother’s steps from upstairs gave Thor a shot of adrenaline: “Kiki get the box!! Go go  _go_!!!”

He heard noises of Loki handling things, but he had no way to see what was going on. He just waited a couple of seconds and hoped for the best: “Did you get it? I’m putting you down now, ok?”

And so he did, slowly… slowly, his very heart giggling, he carefully lowered his little brother, turned him around and-

He saw Loki holding one (1) cookie, that he must have carefully extracted instead of just getting the box. Thor blinked in surprise.

Loki held eye contact with his brother, then he put the entire cookie in his mouth, chewed it a bit, and spat it out.

That’s how their mother found them - her firstborn balancing himself on a chair, holding her youngest like a doll, each looking at the other as if an entire dialogue was taking place.

Of course Thor went through an endless grounding process, Loki only got cuddles.

And cookies.


	3. The first kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kisses are powerful!   
> This is one of the many versions I have thought of, for their first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted on my tumblr [here](http://allthingsthorki.tumblr.com/post/180113638155/my-human-au-the-first-kiss)!

The time came, that Loki got a bad fever. It was the first proper fever he had ever had in his life so far, and Thor was devastated.  He could see how concerned their parents were, and how loving, and how they only seldom left Loki’s side. But they weren’t  _devastated_.  
Thor felt he would have never smiled again, he couldn’t eat, sleep, play; he lived by Loki’s bed, trying to get him to interact in any way.  

“Hey look it’s that cartoon you love! The one with the old lady who can shrink up to the size of a teaspoon!"    
"Loki hey look at this cool snake I drew for you it’s green you like green"    
"Kiki do you want me to read you Peter Pan again?"    
"Hey I brought you ice cream! See? It’s chocolate and lemon and it sucks but you love it, here have some please Kiki  _PLEASE_ ”

But no matter what he did, Loki was just too weak to even reply, his eyes were tired and lightless; he felt exhausted but couldn’t sleep. He looked so  _small_ in his bed, so quiet, so far from the mischievous little goblin that Thor loved so much.  
Thor would have given anything to spend the rest of his life in bed with that same sickness, if that would have meant his little brother could go back to be his usual naughty little sparkle of moonlight.

Soon, Thor decided their parents were not doing enough, he started being very possessive over his brother; he would be the only one allowed to give him his medicines, take his temperature, refresh his boiling hot forehead with a wet cloth, clean him and change his clothes when they got drenched in sweat, and to try and get him to eat something. Their parents strongly opposed to this at first, but then they realized the child would be less whiny when his brother was in charge, so they reluctantly let him go on.

One night, while he was lying on his little brother’s bed as usual, holding him close to his chest, watching him sleep, making sure his breath was regular, and that he didn’t roll down the bed, Thor found himself thinking. He couldn’t sleep anyway, he hadn’t gotten any real sleep since Loki got sick. And so he thought long and hard, he thought of every person he knew, every friend in school, every person in every book and comics he had ever read, his own parents, anyone on the TV, and he realized that something was unusual in the way he felt about his brother.

Apparently, when you have a sick brother you’re supposed to get annoyed and yell for mom to take him away from you if he’s been pestering you. Talking about your little brother is allowed only if strictly necessary, and to be accompanied by severe eye rolling.   
Thor didn’t get along with this line of conduct at all, and that was concerning. He seemed to always find a way to talk about Loki, no matter what the topic of the conversation was. His brother’s name was constantly on his lips, and every time it came out, his eyes would light up and he couldn’t but smile from ear to ear. His friends, he noticed, had the tendency to look puzzled at his marvelous stories about the Amazing Loki, mostly because from their point of view Loki didn’t look that Amazing at all. He barely had any friends, he didn’t socialize gladly, he mostly stayed on his own – the only exception: his brother.   
Also, the constant pranking was not helpful either.

His head resting on the same pillow as his brother, his arm under Loki’s torso, one hand lazily caressing Loki’s cheeks, Thor thought again of his friends, and the books, and the comics, their parents, the TV, and of how people usually behaved towards their love interest instead.

His heart stopped.   
Then, it started racing at the same time. Sweat covered his entire body like pins and needles. His breath stopped in his throat. He was terrified. His first instinct was to jump out of the bed, get out of the house and walk until his body would run out of strength. From there, start a new life with a new name, fake an amnesia, find a job as a pizza boy or something.  _They don’t need ID for that kind of things do they._  He was going to be alright, he just had to leave immediately,  _right now_.

He sprung back sharply, inches from falling from the bed, to get away from Loki’s warm body.

Loki, fever or not, was not having any of that. He reached out with his little hand in his sleep, found his brother, moaned the smallest "no” and weakly grasped his shirt to keep him from going.

Thor’s heart shattered. Tears started to sting his eyes. He looked at his baby brother, so small in his bed, weak from the fever. Did he really think he could leave him? What kind of brother does that? Even when that fever would pass, what if he got sick again later in life? What if he needed him, what if he wanted to play pirates? What  _then_?    
The only thing Thor could do was to get back exactly where he was, and while he put his arm back under his brother’s torso, he planned his whole future once again.

Nobody had to know. That was absolutely unnecessary, and also dangerous. He would have lived his life pretending, he would have worn a mask until his very last day. He would have chosen a random girl, faked his love, faked his marriage, faked his whole family and kids. He would have spent his entire future hidden in a corner of his own mind, loving his brother desperately, in silence, and watching him grow, fall in love, have a family of his own. He would have made sure Loki was happy at all times, without interfering, without a word, loving him from a distance, living for him, and also dying for him each and every day, until his final breath would have finally taken him from Earth.   
  
                                                       ***

The ones that followed were very hard years for Thor.

Constant lies, constant faking, constantly hiding in his own mind. Years and years of hell, all the while Loki grew to be the sneakiest and happiest little shit. Thor would smile at him a smile made of pure sunlight, while crying tears of poison in the back of his mind.

The situation soon took the worst possible turn. Thor thought he could do this, but he just couldn’t. He started having suicidal thoughts, that turned into half attempts.  
He would get so close, so  _so_ close, but then Loki’s little laugh would play in his ears, the memory of his scent, the sound of his steps hurrying in their shared bedroom to show him a twig he found in the garden ( _”It looks like a snake!!!”_ ). And for this reason he had never found the strength to go through it once and for all.

_I’ll breathe him in for one more day. Tomorrow I’ll do it ._

He was masking his cuts and bruises as clumsiness, his parents didn’t give it a second thought: he was indeed growing up a big, strong boy, and moving carefully didn’t look like his strong suit.

One of his latest attempts was to get one of those big knives from the kitchen drawer, place it on the floor with the blade up directly under his chest, and wait until his arms couldn’t hold him anymore, so that his whole body would just drop on the knife and kill him. It would look like an accident, no notes left; a couple of tears shed, and they would have all moved on without him, he was sure.  
His arms were getting tired, he was close to losing his balance, but then he remembered he had promised Loki to help him with his science project that weekend, and he got up so quickly his head got dizzy for a second. Loki had worked so hard for that project, Thor would have never let him miss the presentation.  
Not even to attend his brother’s funeral.

                                                        ***

It was a nice, sunny afternoon. Loki was in the kitchen with his mother. He enjoyed her company, he felt her very close to him, always thought they were alike, the two of them. The sound of her voice was soothing, and she was an endless source of knowledge, the only person who would never get frustrated at him for his constant questions about literally anything.   
That afternoon, the plan was to bake a pie. Loki had already finished his homework, and Frigga found him buried nose deep in a big, worn out book he must have read a thousand times already. The love almost overwhelmed her while she reached her little gem and proposed the fun activity; the cheerfulness with which he accepted almost made her heart burst.

And so there they were, each on their assigned position. The TV was on as a background noise, some sort of romantic comedy none of them was really paying attention to. Loki was washing the cherries; he was standing on a small wooden stool. He hadn’t really  _needed_ the stool anymore for a while now, but without it he risked to get his sleeves wet, and he hated the feeling, together with getting dirty in general.  
Stool it is then.  

The look of absolute focus in his eyes while he washed those cherries made Frigga’s heart giggle. She was mixing flour and sugar and eggs, and was trying to answer all her son’s questions the best she could. Loki would ask a new one every two sentences from the movie, picking random words from the dialogues and asking her what they meant.  
“What’s a stopwatch”  
“What’s a gold digger”  
“What are flamingoes”  
“What’s the first kiss”

And that’s how Loki found himself listening to his mother talk about how magical the first kiss was, how important and very powerful, how it settles in one’s heart and mind and never leaves; no matter what happens next, people will always remember their first kiss.   
He listened and he washed the cherries and his heart started racing for absolutely no reason. Frigga slowly mixed the ingredients in the bowl and cheerfully explained that it didn’t even have to be the best kiss, it could be the worst kiss, but it’s the  _first_ kiss and this made it super powerful and unforgettable and  _LOKI?!_  LOKI ARE YOU ALRIGHT-, she yelled, rushing to her child, who was leaning on the floor next to a small puddle of vomit.

What happened there was, Loki found out about love at the same  _exact_ instant as he learned about jealousy. And that is a very dangerous thing to do.

He was little, yes, but his mind was quick. And although he never stroke as the sympathetic type, he  _did_ feel, strongly,  _deeply_.   
And that afternoon, it showed. For maybe the first time in Loki’s life, his emotions overflowed right past his mind wall. He suddenly realized what he was risking to lose, what he had been giving for granted, living with his head in the clouds, thinking that would last forever.  
His hands were dipped in the cold water, his fingers squeezing the cherries. With Frigga’s soothing voice in his ears, his mind ran to Thor immediately - why, he couldn’t say - and he pictured his brother getting farther and farther away. 

_This will happen sooner or later._

He was going to lose him. Thor would smile at someone else in the morning, make someone else his special blueberry pancakes, pick up someone else in his arms to carry them up the stairs, read books to someone else, sleep with someone else.  
There was absolutely nothing he could do to stop this from happening.  
And just when he was feeling the most helpless,  _then_ one thought hit him like a brick.   
Why think in future tense.  _How old is he now?_    
Loki’s quick mind raced and raced.   
 _He’s gone. He’s already gone, I’ve lost him._    
He felt dizzy. How long had it been? His head was spinning, he started losing his balance on the stool. How long -  _how have I not noticed, how long since I’ve lost him._    
His stomach gave up on him, but he didn’t care.

Loki felt nothing for the rest of the day. His mind was empty, his body didn’t belong to him anymore. Frigga picked him up, held him close to her heart, gave him a bubble bath, lulled him hoping he would sleep, but he couldn’t. He stared at nothing in particular, not a word out of his mouth.   
Was that how his life was going to be from now on? That empty shell? Powerless, broken? He didn’t care about the fact that Thor was his brother. He saw no reason for guilt. What other people might think of them, meant nothing to him.

But he had him,  _he had him_ , and he didn’t pay attention, and he lost him.

After a long, painfully quiet time, during which Frigga was cuddled next to him on his bed, caressing his hair, softly whispering soothing lullabies, Loki decided to look asleep. Since nothing was going to change anymore, since  _that_ was going to be his state forever, there was really no reason to keep his mother stuck with him in the room. She was the backbone of that family, and he had a clear image of how much she was pushing aside just to stay there with him.   
That was pointless.   
 _Just go, see? I’m asleep. I’m fine._

                                                             ***

Later that evening, Thor came back home. He had successfully faked another couple of hours of cheerful social interaction, he was done for the day.    
He entered the bedroom he had shared with his brother since he had memory, his soul was tired; he figured his only reason to live was probably on his bed, reading one of his beloved books, letting his mind travel to fantastic lands, following yellow brick roads, crossing wardrobes.  _Where is he going today? Is he enjoying his quest?_  He smiled fondly, and sighed in pain.

He found Loki lying on his bed, yes, but with no books.   
He was white as a sheet, motionless. Big, absent eyes fixed on the ceiling.  

Thor’s heart skipped a beat.  
He couldn’t dare to blink, he wanted to speak, to ask, to make sure Loki was alright, but his throat was stuck, no air coming at all, nor in or out. He had never  _once_ thought about the possibility that his brother could be the one to die, instead of him. All that time worrying about his own life, and  _never_ had he thought that his brother could just stop breathing out of the blue.  _This kind of things could happen,_  that people died for something quick and unexpected and unpredictable and they were found by their friends or relatives and no one had a clue of how that could have happened.  

He stood there, his hand squeezing the handle, paralyzed from fear, when he heard a whisper, faint, light as a feather, and yet so very heavy: “Have you ever kissed someone?”

Thor almost burst out laughing. First, because the relief was unimaginable. Hearing his brother’s voice, knowing he was fine, just lost in thoughts. His body relaxed, chills down his spine to stabilize the temperature, he sighed loudly. Secondly, since he had been faking his every move for years, and he had been trying to push away the moment he would have had to get physical with somebody as far as possible, he could very confidently reply “No, I haven’t”.    
Thor chuckled slightly, letting his body collapse on his own bed, ignoring the protests from the mattress and the sinister creak coming from the base, grateful to every god in existence for his brother’s health.

He froze immediately again when he looked up and saw Loki stand perfectly still, inches from his face. His skin was so pale, his eyes so big, and were those  _tears_ , forming in the corners?

Loki’s face was the portrait of desperate resolution, and Thor couldn’t help but think:  _he’s too small to feel this kind of pain_.   
But the thought came and went, just a split second, because everything happened very fast after that.   
He noticed Loki was clenching his fists, and as a reaction he wanted to move, to touch him, to calm him down:  _whatever it is, it will pass_. He was the master of letting things pass, after all.   
Thor was ready for anything, what was it going to be? Did Loki fancy someone in school? Were they entering the era of the questions about love and girls and what have you? He held his breath, ready to fake again and again, bracing his heart for the oncoming pain.

But the air felt so solemn he didn’t dare to move.

As if to prepare to jump off a cliff, Loki took a big breath, then leaned forward and pressed his lips on his brothers’. He kept them there, warm and trembling, his eyes shut, the shakiest, faintest warm breath coming out of his nose.

Thor’s soul froze, his mind, his heart, his blood. His eyes were wide open, and it seemed like he had no power to shut them, or to move, or do anything really, at all.   
Then, he felt one, single, salty tear slip between their lips, and the thought of his brother crying shook him to his core. He moved.

Blinking in silence, gasping for breath, he watched Loki stand right in front of him, so very close, shaking quietly.   
Loki pointed one finger at him: “You are mine now”.   
Thor’s mind laughed ( _I always was, love_ ), but his body did nothing.    
Loki continued, more tears crossing his cheeks: “I have your first kiss, it’s  _done_. It doesn’t matter who you kiss now, you can go on and kiss the whOLE PLANET FOR ALL I CARE” he yelled, now sobbing openly, his trembling finger still menacingly pointed at Thor “YOU CAN KISS EVERY PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE AND IT STILL DOESN’T MATTER, BECAUSE I HAVE YOUR FIRST KISS AND YOU ARE  _MINE_ ”.   
  
                                                         ***

Well, Thor had done all he could, you see. There is no doubt about that.   
He had spent years being the shadow of himself, he faked football, faked helping in the house, faked laughing at his friends’ jokes, faked life for the sakes of Loki, and Loki alone, just to be near him in case he would need him, never interfering.   
But at that very moment, he lost every control he had ever had on himself, his heart just broke into pieces, and immediately grew back, stronger than ever. The tears he had hidden for all those years found their way out, crossing his face without mercy.  He stopped thinking. That was it.  

If he had to be banned from the house, if he had to leave and if he had to die, if he had to live in prison, whatever came next, he didn’t care. He grabbed his brother’s face, pulled him closer, and kissed him.   
He had no idea of what he was doing, but he had the desperation of the man who, thirsty in the desert, found an oasis of clear, fresh water. Everything aligned perfectly, everything felt in place.   
His heart was light, his smile was true. After such a long, long time.

Loki, for his part, was expecting a very different reaction.   
As soon as he decided to  _act_ , his quick mind had showed him the next 5 minutes; they were made of shouting, being pushed away, mothers being called, and the  _shame_ , the shame of rejection. Painful needles stabbing his heart, one at a time, one shout at a time, one laugh at a time.  
He decided he didn’t care, and what he got instead was  _bliss_. Another new concept learnt that day.   
Whatever that was, it felt  _blissful_. He locked his arms around his brother’s neck, his legs gave up on him, he fell down and found himself sitting on Thor’s lap.  

They stayed like that, in silence, holding each other, glaring at each other, smiling at each other.   
More kisses were given. Not a word was spoken.    
  
When Frigga quietly opened the bedroom door, later that evening, to check on her youngest, she found both her sons lying on Thor’s bed, embraced, asleep, and happy.


End file.
